grad school outtakes

i have a confession to make.

my professors will never be allowed to read the firsts drafts of my papers (unless, i guess, if they read this post. whatever. you know what i meant).

the first drafts of my paper are never exactly... appropriate


don't believe me?

no lie, last semester i started a paper with "once upon a time there was a country named bolivia."

yeah, that really happened.

and sure, that epic first sentence didn't last to the final draft, but sometimes when you're fighting writer's block, you do what you have to do.

nonsense saves lives. and sometimes grades.


these past few days, though... it got bad


it did.

i have a few choice clips to prove it. 


this is why i should not try to write papers about food and religion at 2 am:


judaism even includes a history of the cultivation of the vineyard within the torah. after the flood, noah plants a vineyard and miraculously figures out winemaking. after fermenting the grapes, noah drinks the wine, doesn’t have a wingman, and gets drunk and essentially creates the first (one-man) rave in his tent. when his son walks in on him drunk and naked, noah gets embarrassed and god gets all pissed off. the lesson jews learn from all of this is that while wine is pretty great, don’t get too drunk. or if you do, at least lock the door to your tent.


the passover seder links back to the greek symposiums, in which people would get together, drink, eat lots of food, and shoot the breeze. 


during communion, as worshipers sip the wine, the wine transformers into the blood of jesus. it is interesting to consider this ideology in comparison with islamic and jewish taboos, where the consumption of blood is considered to be unclean. the consumption of the wine in this case is not considered to be a form of vampirism, but a way in which spirituality is confirmed and reestablished. 


hierarchy of foods are present in several of the torah's stories. in the story of cain and abel, the brothers duke it out over agricultural goods. later, jacob and esau throw down some serious shit with some mutton stew – which probably wasn’t much unlike the stuff we made in class, only i bet they let it boil long enough for the fat to actually break down. 


from all of this, though, we can wonder what really makes a food religious or moral or blah. in both judaism and in the ancient greek traditions, the point of the sacrifice was not just for the perceived actions of being religious, but also because the smell of roasting meat pleased the god/gods. sacrifices are weird.




not exactly academic work. 

admit it, though. papers like this would be a lot more fun to read.