Books 671-675

Good morning.

Did you sleep well?

What did you have for breakfast? 

Did you have breakfast?

I have a cup of coffee. 


If you can't tell,

we're having a slow start over here.

Building maintenance is supposed to be coming by,

so I'm trying not to get too involved with schoolwork yet.

(I'm not going to lie,

I'm one of those people who cleans up their apartment

—stuffs everything in the closet, 

hides all of the floating papers in a drawer, 

and stacks all the books against the wall so they look like they're supposed to be there—

in an attempt to not look like an academic delinquent.)


So basically I'm just sitting here waiting 

until I can get back to putting post-it notes on everything

and trying not to get coffee stains on library books.


In the meantime, though, I've had a great idea for a new game. 


If you remember,

in past games we've renamed books,

written one-sentence stories,

and once I even designed new covers based off of the titles.

(That last one we're not doing again any time soon,

takes too much time.)


Today I was thinking we could do something a little different.

Remember that awkward stack of grad school books

I mentioned in the second paragraph?

(If you don't,

this might be a good time to call your doctor

and make an appointment to get that memory-loss thing checked out.

Do it now, before you forget.

Or just read the second paragraph again.)


Moving on.

Today we're going to give our five books from my parents' shelves new titles again,

but this time we're going to give them titles

from my leaning tower of research,

and then give a one sentence synopsis.

Sounds fun, right?

And, since I'm nice, 

I'll even include links to the original (academic) books for you.


Good times.



Farm City: The Education of an Urban Farmer


Hijinks ensue in the tale of a city's greening efforts when

successful urban farming leads to overly successful animal husbandry. 



Encyclopedia of Taboos


A young boy learns not to talk to or acknowledge plague victims

and why his village shuns decorative porch molding. 



With These Hands: The Hidden World of Migrant Farmworkers Today


A tale of personal strength and triumph:

Archibalda, a young factory worker, 

meets her dress-making quota, 

pays off her student loans, 

and follows her dreams

to go on to be a successful professional hot air balloonist.


(Yeah, I don't know where the name "Archibalda" name came from, either.)



You Don't Say: Modern American Inhibitions


A humongous, ghostly figure looms over a major highway

and must be overcome by a lone and lonesome traveler

in this suspenseful thriller, based on (not) true events.



Wrongs of Passage: Fraternities, Sororities, Hazing, and Binge Drinking


College life isn't what it seems in this

Alice in Wonderland meets Beer for Dummies tale. 


Okay, so I'm not actually reading those last two books,

Alice and Beer,

but I thought I'd include links for you all anyway.

Also, wouldn't 

Alice and Beer

make a great band name? 

Or just a great title for something in general?