Books 666-670

Salutations. 

 

So today is a little awkward.

I know, right?

What day around here isn't awkward?

But seriously.

Today is the day 

any extremist Christians we might have around here

will stop reading this blog.

 

Actually, I'm pretty sure we lost any extremists 

way back on the first bookcase,

what with all of the Yiddish-English dictionaries and such.

 

Actually, 

I'm pretty sure we never had any extremists. 

This blog just isn't that extreme.

Can you imagine if extreme blogging was a contact sport?

I don't know what that would entail,

but I would totally watch it.

 

I digress.

 

Today we have book number 666,

which is apparently the country code for Mali

and has something to do with Satan,

or, according to Yahoo answers, Satan's pet beast,

or, according to Wikipedia, a manga series named O-Parts Hunter.

It's all very confusing.

 

I guess Satan lives in Mali with a pet beast,

where s/he reads manga,

possibly on a beach?

That doesn't sound like a bad life.

 

We're going to overlook my general cluelessness, though,

and use this all as a theme for today's game:

one sentence stories.

 

 

The townspeople prayed for the reign of havoc and chaos to end,

but just as they thought it was safe to come out of their homes again,

the beast returned —

the gargantuan, bulbous fist of death ready and waiting for the un-pious.

 

(Okay, un-pious isn't a word.

Whatever.)

 

 

Being the anti-christ really wasn't that bad;

nobody messed with him on the playground

and by keeping a hippopotamus around,

he never had to worry about monsters hiding under his bed.

 

 

 The constant vacant look in the girl's eyes

had made Miss Honeyblossom suspicious,

but the picture confirmed her worst fears:

this child was the devil.

 

 

 

Mali hadn't been Marge's first pick for retirement destinations,

 but looking out into the dark night,

finally away from the Satanic Twitter and mindless news feeds 

that had overwhelmed her daily life,

she was finally at peace.

 

 

 It was the Scopes Monkey Trial all over again,

only this time,

science would not only win, 

but George would make sure the religious right knew it —

even if he had to use manga propaganda to prove it. 

 

Think you can write a better Satanic/Mali/manga sentence?

You're always allowed to play along in the comments.

But you knew that already.

So whatever.