Books 321-325

So,
after a few conversations and comments recently,
I decided I might need to
restate the intentions of this blog
(not that I ever stated them in the first place).

If you're new here
or you've just been floundering around
wondering what all of this is about:
Hi.
I'm SM.
Books On My Parents' Shelves
is pretty much exactly
what it looks like.

I scan covers of books
that are on my parents' book shelves.
Then I post them here,
often with silly or random comments.

I don't read them.
Honestly,
there isn't time.
And it is fun
to just judge a book by it's cover
sometimes.

I'm not a fan of rude
or mean humor
so I generally try to avoid that.
I try to be polite
to the authors and the cover artists
I will probably never meet
without getting too dull.
I even try to be polite
when I don't like a cover.
There's a lot of stuff I don't say
because I know it would Not Be Nice.
And I like nice.

It's pretty simple.
This is all just humor
and a possible cataloging system for my parents.
I work for a library.
I have nothing against books.
They're pretty awesome.

So,
with all of that established,
let's judge some books by their covers,
okay?
I'll try to keep things quiet today.
Maybe that will help.

Let's start simple.

Mountaineering is dangerous stuff.



I didn't know Ms. MacLaine was into it.
The title is very promising.
I'm sure this book is full of useful advice,
like:
"Don't get too close when you
poke the body to make sure its dead,
that's how the zombies get you."
(This is all irony,
of course.
I'm pretty sure this book is an autobiography.
Although,
maybe Ms. MacLaine has run into
some zombies
in real life,
as well as mountains,
so she might have some useful advice on these subjects.)

This next author
seems to like stories about dreams.


I like dreams about books.
I'd bet we'd get along.
Maybe we could hang out.
But,
I would probably ask her
to leave her cover artist at home.
S/he seems a little sketchy.

I think I saw the movie
Hannibal.
Can't remember.


There is something mildly disappointing
about a character named Hannibal
who doesn't have roving hoards
traipsing around after him.
It's like reading a book called
Genghis
and realizing it's an auto-correct typo
that no one caught
and the book is really about gangrene.

I find it oddly amusing
that this next book,
Skinny Island,
only cost 99¢.


Of course,
it makes a little more sense
when you realize the author also wrote a book
called
Diary of a Yuppie.
It's ironic.
On purpose.

I have a question
for all the readers
who happen to chop cords of wood
when they're not reading this blog
(of which,
I'm sure,
there are zero).


Do axes whisper?
They don't seem like quiet tools to me.
I would be more inclined to believe
and read
a book called
The Loud Thud of the Axe.
That sounds much more realistic.

Oh!
Also,
in other news,
I (finally) made a Facebook page for
Books On My Parents' Shelves.
You can like it on Facebook
or you can click the button to your right
(it's a little higher up on the page).
You can do that,
that is,
if you actually like this blog.