Books 286-290, Guest Post

This post is the second of two guest posts
written in celebration of
Books on My Parents' Shelves
one year anniversary.
This post was written by my older sister,
— SM

So, when I was asked to do this, I thought I'd actually get books to look at. I'm sure when you clicked on the link, you had the same expectation. Sorry to disappoint you. Nothing I can do about it. We'll have to muddle through as best as we can.

I like fonts. They make things look so much better. In fact, right now I'm writing this in Britannic Bold to make it feel important, although I'm thinking about switching it to Lucida Blackletter, which seems more regal; but by the time it gets to you, it'll probably be something boring, like Arial, which just takes all the fun out of everything. No pizzazz.

So, I'm behind the concept of type, in general. Just not sure why they called themselves EyeWire. That sounds ...painful.

This next one reminds me of high school art, where we made plaster masks of our faces.

You had to put Vaseline on absolutely everything that was getting covered in the plaster, or else you'd end up pulling out your hair too. Which hurt. Doesn't look like this person did such a good job with her hair. Just saying.

Hmmm, look another magazine!

I'm not sure what riding a computer into deep space has to do with minding your business, but it does look like fun. I'm not sure I could turn down that trip, personally. Although I would prefer to have some oxygen. And maybe some protective clothing. Possibly even something to keep me from frying as I left the earth's atmosphere.

On second thought, that trip isn't so tempting.

Oh look, this time it's not a magazine! And it's not a book! It's better than both of those things. It's a MAP!

That's right. A map of Japan. I've never been to Japan, but I know many people who have been. They say it's nice. There's a temple there that lets deer roam free. They are protected for some awesome reason that I can't remember, so now tourists go visit, have picnics, and feed the deer, who are tame. I do that all the time too, but in the quad outside of work instead of in Japan, and instead of feeding deer, I feed the squirrels who come and steal food.

And (drumroll please!) the final "not really a book" in the post: a Mayor's Citation to my dad.

Please notice that this only says "One Act Play Award Winner," so I'm not really sure which play this is for. My guess, from the date, is it's for "The Men's Room" which was very funny. It may have been for "Mr. Mahler Finds a Dollar," which is about the richest man in the world finding a dollar on the street. It was also very funny.

So, yeah. A Mayor's Citation. Go Dad!

So I guess that's it. If I haven't botched this too badly, maybe I'll get another chance. And next time, maybe I'll be upgraded to real books.